Sometimes I wish I could forget that this pilot was kind of great.
My name is Serenity, and I have a problem.
I’m shackled to shows past their expiration date, even though I know they’ve gone sour and everything in my brain is screaming to stop the madness. Heck, even when I spend most of that 42 minutes of air time fiddling with my iOS device, playing Tetris or some other bit of mind-numbing visual entertainment, anything to keep myself from actually staring at that thing up on the screen.
Today, after work, I spent nearly an hour attempting to make an episode of Glee stream properly on my computer. My internet wasn’t cooperating, as it often doesn’t when I attempt to watch Flash-based media, and it was doing that early 2007 “stream three seconds, stall, stream three more seconds, stall” bit everyone hates but for some awful reason puts up with.
And after forty-five minutes of doing this, I sat back and wondered: Why am I trying so hard? I haven’t been interested in this show for at least a year. The songs have devolved from interesting musical adaptations to whatever happens to be popular at the time. And it frequently makes me want to set things on fire. But I kept on bashing my head against the desk trying to watch this stalled stream.
Part of it’s completionism. Because if I stop watching now, and the show gets cancelled this year, I’m not going to go back and watch those eight episodes I missed.
But what if there’s brilliance hiding in there somewhere? What if the show pulls out a beautiful moment you would have otherwise ignored, because you threw it all away? What if it makes a huge turn-around?
I had this problem with Grey’s Anatomy: It was a guilty pleasure show at the start, it hit a slump, I stopped watching for a few seasons, and then everyone started talking about how the sixth season was incredible—a return to form.
I had left—I had managed to make it out alive!—and then stupid Grey’s had to go and yank me back in for what admittedly ended up being one of my favorite season finales of any television show in years.
But to get to that damn payoff, I made myself go back and watch a season and a half of terrible television. Is a spectacular finale really worth that much brain-draining nonsense? Let me know if you figure that one out, because I still can’t decide.
Anyway. It’s these what-ifs that plague me and keep Glee in my queue (and make me secretly wish that the show gets cancelled so I don’t have to continually torture myself).
Abusive television relationships, guys! They’re evil. And I’ll bet everyone has at least one. Yes, even you. (One word: Heroes.)
Maybe this is the week I ditch Glee from my queue. I still haven’t finished my first watch-through of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, for pete’s sake. I have so many better things I could be enjoying. I still haven’t seen this week’s Parks and Rec!
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